Jenny from Perth writes – my partner is the life of the party, women and men adore him. But at home, he gets angry at us for the silliest reasons and never nice words me or our kids, always putting us down. Should I stay or leave him?

I've read that decreasing testosterone can be a cause. I took some herbal remedy but only grew some man boobs. Little else seemed to change. The boobs did fade away after I finished the tablets.

In no way am I saying that physical abuse is acceptable. Don't get me wrong on that. I also don't put anyone down because I love these people.

It's just that my mouth speaks before my brain thinks at random moments. My wife does remind me from time to time. I say sorry and yes dear frequently.

What I have noticed is nearly every girl I try to connect with whom reject me are in their early 20s why is that the case?

Be blessed.

Hello Jenny. A lot of men are like your man. I myself am similar although out of love I try and moderate myself.

At some point you do need to find a quiet moment to have sensible chat with your man. Point out how his words are hurting you and the family. Ask him if he realises what's happening. That none of you are enjoying it. See what he says?

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It's actually hard even though I adore my wife and our family. Why I have often asked myself? It makes no sense really. There's no one to ask.

Nothing is more important to me than my wife and family. I love them. To date my wife loves me enough to see the good in me rather than only the bad. I try for her.

Unless actual harm is occurring I'd ask you to stay. We men need our wives and families. Really we do.

I’m wondering about attachment and transference with the therapist and the idea of escape and fantasy? How much do you think your strong feelings, constant thoughts, desires to be with your therapist are a way to escape from your present life? I wonder if the transference serves another purpose than to show us our wounds and/or past experiences, but is a present coping strategy for managing what we don’t want to face (even if unconsciously) in the present—-current relationships, life circumstances, etc. Can anyone relate to this concept of escape in relation to their therapy relationship? How does this play out for you?

So are we to be consigned to the kerb by the people who are supposed to love us? I can't understand the why of who I am at all.